I woke in the night with the message that trauma is the source. I jotted that down in my journal and fell back to sleep. In the morning I read that message and I let it hang in the air. I soon realized that part of the message that was being given to me was that trauma is the source of healing, the source of wellbeing, and the source of greater balance. Trauma can be the teacher. Trauma can be the mentor. Trauma can be the sage.
Do you ever stop to welcome the trauma, the struggles, the obstacles, and the challenges that show up in your life? Do you ever intentionally show gratitude to the same trauma, struggles, obstacles, or challenges?
The Wisdom of Trauma
You may find those questions somewhat warped sounding, however, there does tend to be some deep wisdom buried within every situation of trauma or struggle. This wisdom may be directed specifically at you, or it may be a message for your whole family system. Sometimes the wisdom is aimed at even greater systems such as your community or your nation.
In various ways my life has revolved around trauma for the past few months, even more than usual. I do work with clients who are addressing their deepest emotional trauma, so trauma is generally present in my field, however, this was at a heightened level. I had a close friend suddenly die in August, not knowing she was even unwell. Several loved ones are addressing emotional life challenges. Several extended family members are living the journey of difficult health conditions and symptoms. Some of my latest life choices involve trauma.
A Learning Journey
In mid July I started an interdisciplinary applied doctorate program in the social sciences, and if that journey didn’t create enough upheaval and emotional trauma in and of itself, my topic of study is transgenerational trauma and its impact in the field of peacebuilding. The field of peacebuilding is of course filled with conflict and trauma, hence the need for peacebuilding, and it is my contention that this field of work is also filled with a great deal of unresolved transgenerational trauma that needs to be addressed. The field discusses primary trauma and it also mentions secondary or vicarious trauma that may occur when working with others who are struggling with trauma. The following website provides a good description of vicarious trauma and how it impacts counsellors, first responders, or any other frontline workers.
https://www.counseling.org/docs/trauma-disaster/fact-sheet-9—vicarious-trauma.pdf?sfvrsn=2
What’s in a Label?
Transgenerational trauma is different from vicarious trauma, although it can make you more susceptible to vicarious trauma. You may work diligently to shift your vicarious trauma, yet you feel something is missing. You may still feel stuck, depressed, or filled with anxiety. We have many names for transgenerational trauma including ancestral trauma, intergenerational trauma, multigenerational trauma, and I learned a new label recently, space-time continuum trauma. Transgenerational trauma is not limited by time and space. Transgenerational trauma travels from the past to the present, or more accurately, lingers from the past within the present, and if it is left unresolved or unexpressed, it lingers into the future through our children and grandchildren. Regardless of the label we give it, we are frequently drawn to look back to the past in order to find answers that may positively influence out present, with the hope that it will aid us in moving forward. I know I still have lots to learn about transgenerational trauma and that’s why I’m back researching and writing, some of my favourite ways to absorb and integrate knowledge and wisdom
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Looking Back
Let’s look at transgenerational trauma. Many millions of people around the world are seeking to understand their family history. There are television shows dedicated to genealogy and finding family histories. I’ve been on that journey for over 45 years myself. Have you ever considered why we are drawn to do that? I believe we are seeking answers from the past to influence our present. We may be seeking to heal our family wounds.
On the broad societal level, dozens of countries have set up extensive truth commissions to reveal and understand the truth of their tumultuous past. We seek to understand that which separates us from others, and we innately know that there are patterns in our thoughts and actions. What better way to find patterns than to look back at our family system or our national history. Who is separate from whom, who is excluded, who is forgotten, who is shunned, who is the victim, who is the perpetrator, where is there distance from original homelands and extended family members, and where is there separation due to conflict, violence, war, or other trauma.
Surrounded by Conflict
All over the world today, societies are embedded with collective conflict and trauma. I wrote a past blog about some of the transgenerational trauma of a region in the world called Vojvodina, Serbia. That piece of land was once part of the Austrian Empire and its journey since 1804 included the following state labels: Serbian Vojvodina, Voivodeship of Serbia and Banat of Temeschwar, Military Frontier, and Habsburg Kingdom of Hungary; to the Austrian-Hungary Empire including Military Frontier, Kingdom of Slavonia, and Habsburg Kingdom of Hungary; to State of Slovenes, Croats, and Serbs; to Banat Republic; to Kingdom of Serbia; to Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes; to Kingdom of Yugoslavia; to Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia; to Federal Republic of Yugoslavia; to Serbia and Montenegro; and finally, to independent Serbia today.
The region has rarely ever known peace as far as I can determine. On the surface, it may be at its most peaceful today. War, violence, conflict, displacement, refugees, hunger, immigration, Nazi rule, concentration camps, victims, perpetrators, religious wars, ethnic cleansing, family tragedy, and the list goes on creating a package of transgenerational trauma. When this trauma is not addressed, but silenced or deemed a taboo subject, it carries down to the descendants both collectively and through family systems. If these same individuals have emigrated to other regions of the world, the transgenerational trauma has travelled with them in the cells of their bodies. We might think we can leave it all behind, pronouncing that we are starting a whole new life, however, our body knows differently. It is of little wonder that many individuals from that region of the world struggle with identity issues. This is happening in many areas of the world.
Pushed to Expand
The past century has been a time of great upheaval in terms of understanding where we stand in relation to others. Let’s look at one example. Where did your family system stand in World War I or World War II? Were they fighting and killing others, or being killed, were they bystanders, displaced, tortured, imprisoned, resisting, forced to emigrate, starving, victims, or perpetrators? Any war or conflict anywhere in the world will serve for this discussion. The World Wars pushed our family systems out to the fringe of their existence. They were pushed to their discomfort zones. They were pushed to make difficult choices. They were pushed to take sides. They were pushed toward greater awareness. Guilt, shame, grief, anger, hyper vigilance, blame, sorrow, or rage may be held in the bodies of various family members today.
Resistance Brings
Struggle
Transgenerational trauma is becoming more apparent today, however, it is not being recognized as such. Today we are asked to experience and explore our comfort with great diversity. Migration is widespread and we are exposed to people from all over the world with different belief systems and worldviews. The world today is the product of centuries of warring. Wars are about Us and Them. We haven’t stopped all wars or conflicts, much as we thought that would be the outcome of the world wars. Many are struggling with widespread diversity. Many cling to the past, holding onto some perceived Golden Era. Many are afraid of change. Intense resistance to change holds many people trapped in old ways of being. It is a very complex and difficult time for many, especially if they remain stuck in old patterns and belief systems that no longer serve them well today. Advancing technology heightens the need to transition.
We can learn a lesson from nature with the change that occurs in the autumn with the leaves changing colour and falling to the ground. We continually experience cycles in our life – cycles of change – the days, the months, the years, the seasons, and the life cycle from birth until death and rebirth. We change all the time – it becomes automatic. When we realize that change is always present, we are able to move through it with less struggle. The leaves don’t put up a struggle. The leaves flow with the cycles of nature. It is automatic for the leaves. Sometimes we resist change because we innately fear forgetting the past, the very source of our healing and wellbeing. You need not worry because your body does not forget the past. Your body carries the transgenerational trauma of the ancestors. Genosociograms and systemic family constellations are just two ways to address unresolved transgenerational trauma. In taking action to shift the unresolved transgenerational trauma in your family system you are remembering and honouring the journeys of those who came before you.
A Family Burden
Let’s look at one particular challenge. You may come from a family system that carries the heavy emotion of hatred, unresolved by your ancestors perhaps five generations back, from a time of conflict with a neighbouring community. You may not even understand the origins of the feelings, and yet the feelings are there in your body impacting daily life. You carry hatred for your neighbour and it feels like the normal thing to do. It’s just part of life. My parents hated the neighbours. My grandparents hated the neighbours. My great grandparents hated the neighbours. You may be carrying unresolved transgenerational trauma. Unresolved transgenerational trauma lies beneath many of our thoughts and actions today. We may feel an intense resistance to change. Resistance tends to build up friction, tension, and conflict with others. It is difficult to build peace when unresolved transgenerational trauma is present, regardless of your good intentions.
As we look back to the past, we are frequently under the impression that it was a simpler time with a simple question, “Are you a friend or a foe?” Trusting the answer seemed to be the biggest dilemma. Rarely was it a simpler time. The answer may have been a matter of survival. The answers today are even more complex. The past few decades have thrown in rapidly advancing technology, speeding up everything around us. Some of the older living generations are struggling to keep pace with the change and transformation required of them. They live with fears they may not understand. These struggles and fears are passed down to their children and grandchildren if they are left unresolved in this lifetime.
Finding the Key
The older generations are often the ones who feel drawn to look back. Perhaps some members of the oldest generation have died. A sense of separation, urgency, or unfinished business may set into the body. It may be just mortality catching up with you, or it may be something greater. Many are realizing they are part of a greater whole and they seek to understand their greater family system. Many begin to understand that some of the answers to their struggles lie with the ancestors. Think of it this way, in many situations the keys to open the doors that seem locked shut for you may be buried with the ancestors. However, you should not despair. You do have access to those keys. They can help you shift or transform your world.
Unresolved Trauma
Transgenerational trauma that is passed down to you from your parents and ancestors may potentially have many answers embedded in it to inform your current life journey. This trauma was likely unexpressed emotionally by the ancestors at the time it occurred. They suppressed the emotions to carry on and survive their various hardships and struggles. We inherit both the joys and the burdens of the ancestors. You, and any children or grandchildren you may have, are those who inherit this suppressed emotional package from the ancestors. Whatever was swept under the rug emotionally may be showing up scattered throughout your family system. It is held or imprinted in the cells of the body. It may be felt as anxiety, depression, imbalance, fear, anger, grief, rage, shame, guilt, resentment, or it may manifest as any number of chronic conditions or illnesses. You may be feeling stuck in life in some way unable to move forward. You may be challenged over and over without understanding why. You may have one life crises after another. Life may feel constantly filled with drama. It might be time to look back to the past to find some answers.
The Past Influences the Present
During my summer university residence, I was asked to write a couple of book reviews. I discovered that unresolved transgenerational trauma was quite obvious in the fields of both authors. For one author and scholar, it guided his whole direction in life and his choice of career. He has spent his lifetime studying, researching, and teaching about ethical dilemmas. In the book, he told one personal story about himself as an adolescent and it was an experience of emotional trauma around an ethical dilemma. His emotional response was to withdrawal – to quit – or to give up at that time. He has spent his life attempting to shift that response. Through his emotional response to that trauma, he was also traumatized by the emotional response patterns of his parents and his school mentor. Their emotional response patterns developed through their family systems.
The Hidden Loyalties
Our emotional response patterns develop early in life through our parents and others of great influence, especially our early bonding relationship with our mother. We also carry the emotional response patterns and strategies of our ancestors. It was evident that this young scholar carried unresolved transgenerational trauma from his ancestors in his response of withdrawal. It seems apparent that he is seeking to heal his emotional wounds through the choice of his life work. He would likely benefit through the process of looking back.
The other author carried very obvious blind spots and biases that were revealed through his writing. The transgenerational trauma carried by this man made him blind with hatred for one nation and blind to the traumatic past and reality of his own nation. The author’s arguments were weakened over and over by his blind spots. He too would benefit from a journey of looking back to find the emotional healing he is seeking through his writing. Does unresolved transgenerational trauma guide us into our career choices? It certainly can.
Whether you are working behind the scenes, in an office tower or out in nature, or you are the peacebuilder, healer, or frontline worker in any walk of life, you may be seeking to heal unresolved transgenerational trauma that occurred within your family system. You may want to look back to find some answers to your current challenges. Do you feel that trauma is your friend or your foe? Is trauma your teacher? Do you show gratitude for each of your challenges in life?
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