Cancer

I woke up the other day involved in a chat with cancer. Some days I just wake up knowing what I’m supposed to write about and share with others. I don’t have cancer, but nevertheless, the chat was very informative and I thought I would pass on the messages that came forward.

When was the last time you heard someone say that they had a friendly visit from cancer today. I suspect the answer is never. The usual reaction of most individuals to a diagnosis of cancer is fear. Fear is one of the heaviest emotional energies that we carry in our body. Fear plays various roles in the lives of human beings. It can be a very useful motivator for the human being, for example, to prompt action when life is threatened. Fear shifts the autonomic nervous system of the human being into action. It prompts people to go into fight or flight when a threat is felt. A healthy fight or flight response requires a completion of the activity. If flight or flight does not occur when the autonomic nervous system is on full speed ahead – the body holds the threat in the body. Another autonomic response is freeze. Sometimes freeze is the right thing to do when there is a threat. Sometimes the threat that prompts a fight or flight response goes incomplete – the individual freezes or experiences emotional paralysis. This is stored in the body as unresolved emotional trauma. Human beings couldn’t live without fear. “Fearless” individuals often die too soon taking unnecessary risks with their own lives. What we need is less-fear not fear-less.  It is very helpful to reduce the impact of fear in your life.

Heightened Stress

To have high levels of cortisol, called the stress hormone, in your blood long-term is greatly detrimental to the human being.  We all know that a diagnosis of cancer tends to cause stress.  Cortisol is released by the adrenal glands and so many people today end up with a diagnosis of adrenal fatigue. It seems to make sense that high stress, high fear, and high worry contribute to adrenal fatigue. Scientists believe that high levels of cortisol limit learning and memory, impact the immune system, affect bone density, contribute to weight gain and issues with blood pressure, cholesterol and heart disease. They have also listed high levels of cortisol as a contributor to lower life expectancy, less resilience, depression, and other mental health concerns.

With a diagnosis of cancer, fear frequently permeates every moment of life, increasing the individuals level of stress. Living with fear at a heightened level all the time magnifies the malignancy of the soup around the cells of the body. This is not life giving for the human being. I ponder whether it is the diagnosis of cancer, or the fear of cancer created by society, that is more detrimental in the life of the human being.

I believe we have to shift our way of understanding and viewing cancer. I believe there are at least two positive action steps available:

1) We can proactively address the unresolved emotional trauma carried within our bodies, perhaps lessening the possibility of getting certain forms of cancer or other persistent conditions in the first place.

2) We can begin a new dialogue with cancer and let go of the old one. Cancer carries with it many positive messages for the individual, if one takes the time to listen. We can look at cancer as a benevolent messenger rather than as a scary monster.

Emotions that Underlie the Symptoms

Individuals with cancer usually have a stockpile of unresolved heavy emotions stored in their bodies. Some of these heavy emotions include fear, anger, resentment, regret, shame, guilt, sadness, grief, intolerance, rage, pain, self-denial, hatred, sorrow, worry, self-abandonment, contempt, and unhappiness. You may also be carrying the unresolved emotional trauma of your parents and ancestors. It is important to address this suppressed unresolved emotion to minimize its long-term affect on your life. If a doctor told you that you had elevated levels of certain heavy metals in your body, would you want to do something about it? I suspect the answer is yes. Discovering or admitting that you have heavy emotions in your body is no different. It’s time to do something about it. Better yet, be proactive and address the heavy emotions in your body before they make you sick. In today’s world, carrying excess weight has become a huge societal concern. Ask yourself, in what way is that weight gain emotional? In what way are you attempting to protect your inner self by creating a barrier or boundary from emotional pain?

The Benevolent Messenger

There is another way to look at symptoms and conditions of the body. I want to discuss the benevolent messages of cancer. If you have a diagnosis of cancer you have been stewing the cells of your body in unhealthy heavy emotions for a long time, perhaps even many generations. Cancer doesn’t always pass from generation to generation genetically as many are led to believe. It may be passed epigenetically through the expression of the genes. It is frequently the unresolved emotional response patterns that carry from generation to generation. Great grandmother responded emotionally in an unhealthy way, stoically burying her emotional pain and carrying on with life. Grandmother learned the same emotional response pattern and followed suit and passed the same response pattern to her daughter – your mother. Your mother passed the same emotional response pattern – bury it – on to you.

Suddenly, or so it appears, cancer arrives at your doorstep. It’s time to shift your belief system, your thoughts, your emotional response patterns, and/or your actions. Like many of the symptoms and conditions we experience in our lives, there will be a benevolent message for us if we pay attention. We need to learn to listen to that inner voice within us – the voice of the unconscious mind. Each symptom delivers a friendly message that our way of being in the world is no longer serving us well.

Listen to Your Inner Voice

When the symptom arrives, you have a choice of shifting or transforming your world, or digging in your heels with resistance for the fight of your life. If you decide to fight, you will be fighting against your own deep inner core self and your powerful unconscious mind. When this occurs, your immune system becomes weakened and your body begins to reject aspects of itself. If we don’t listen to our deep inner voice we are engaged in self-abandonment. It is a rejection of self. The following questions can be used to understand any symptom or condition that may arrive in your life:

1. When did the symptom first appear? When did you actually first notice symptoms, even if you ignored them?

2. What happened emotionally in the year or so before the symptom appeared to trigger it? What trauma occurred in your life? Did a close family member die, get a serious diagnosis, or get involved in a serious accident; did your last child leave home or go to college; did you have a significant relationship breakup; did you get married; did you move across the country or out of it entirely; did you get a financial windfall; did you have any sort of major change in your life; did you start a new job; did you have a baby; were you in a major accident; did you go bankrupt; or did you lose your job?

3. How is the symptom, in this case cancer, serving you? Is it telling you to take care of yourself? Is it telling you that your life is out of balance? Is it telling you that you are taking care of everyone else in your life except for yourself – living in agency? Is it telling you your priorities are out of alignment? Is it telling you that you need to develop healthy boundaries? Is it waiting for you to take certain actions in your life – end that unhealthy relationship, quit that job, connect with your family, stop working so much, do your emotional healing work with your mother and father, stop worrying about the whole world, stop carrying the burdens of others, get to know your ancestral family emotional patterning, etc. If it’s a child with cancer, are the parents willing to do their deep emotional healing work?

The Alarm Clock Rings

To understand the messages of cancer, I would ask you to make a list of the things cancer pushes you to do? Here’s a list of some of the key reasons cancer may attempt to get your attention:

Time to connect to Self. Do you engage in self-abandonment? Do you refuse to care for yourself first? If you are the sort of person that looks after the needs of everyone else but yourself, I am speaking to you. Over and over I read obituaries about individuals who were such givers in their life. They took care of everyone’s needs but their own. This is one sure way to become unwell. Many sacrifice themselves for the wellbeing of others and they pay with their life. When done long-term, this is not exactly a virtue. You are meant to find your way back to Self – that deep core authentic Self within you. Looking after the needs of others first means you are living in agency with others and that is energy deadening. Looking after the needs of others is sometimes a good excuse or cover up for not wanting to look at your own stuff. When you care for others through your woundedness, hoping to find emotional healing, it is less effective than caring for others through wellness.

Time for self-care. You have to become the centre of your life. If you are the dear sweet individual caring for everyone around you at your own expense, you are denying your own right to health and happiness. This is called self-abandonment. This is an emotional response pattern learned in early life in relationship to your mother. You sacrificed yourself in the womb or in early childhood to keep your mother emotionally well for your own survival. If you continue to live this same pattern in adulthood, it may kill you. If you let this happen, you will be given another opportunity to listen to your deep inner voice in your next lifetime.

Time for introspection. Why me? It forces you to evaluate your life, encouraging you to go within for introspection and self-analysis. Get a focus on your deep inner dreams and desires and find a way to align you daily life with them. Who are you inside when all the emotional armour is dropped? Are you engaging in self denial? Do you feel you are unworthy of more, that you are not good enough, that you are not lovable, that you don’t deserve to take up space, or that you don’t have a right to exist?

Time to change your life path. It may stop you in your tracks. It lets you know you are heading in a direction that is no longer serving you well. If lets you know that if you continue on this path you may pay the ultimate price with your life.

Time to take responsibility for your wellbeing. You have to take responsibility for your own life and wellbeing and stop expecting others to do it for you (partners, medical professionals, or family members). Have you experienced a reoccurrence of cancer? Are you taking medical treatments without addressing the underlying emotional aspects that hold the cancer in your body? Cancer says: Even if I am eliminated by radiation and/or chemo – I will return as a symptom in one form or another if the underlying emotional issues that contributed to my creation in the first place are not addressed. I will remain with you until you shift your way of being in the world. I will accompany you until you no longer need my support. Sometimes cancer is the support provided by someone missing or excluded in the family system, a parent or ancestor, or a child that died too soon or in the womb.

Time to reconnect to your family system. It pushes you to contemplate what is really important to you in life and to ask for help. It draws your family members and friends in close to you. Are you the black sheep of the family system? Are you estranged from your family? Did you move a great distance away to intentionally separate from your family?

Time to overhaul yourself emotionally. It pushes you to address the heavy emotions stored in your body – fear, anger, resentment, intolerance, regret, shame, guilt, self-abandonment, hatred, sadness, grief, rage, pain, sorrow, contempt, and unhappiness, etc.

Time to set priorities. Are you ignoring any aspect of your life? Are you balancing your emotional, physical, spiritual, psychological, financial, and relationship wellbeing?

Time to create a healthy boundary. Cancer may arrive to serve as a boundary for you. Do you have either no energy boundary with others allowing them to walk all over you or do you have a boundary so unporous and rigid that you keep everyone away?

Time to address your inner wounds. Any wound that is left to fester will eventually get infected and threaten your life. The unresolved emotional wounds of the child within you surround the cells of your body making you unwell. Do you carry unresolved ancestral emotional wounds for your family system? Did you sacrifice yourself in early childhood to care for your mother’s emotional wellbeing? Do you have a separation wound with your mother? Are you disconnected from your father? Are you energetically entangled with any other member of your family system? Have you addressed the emotional trauma experienced in this lifetime?

Time to surrender to vulnerability. Are you inflexible? Are you attempting to control everything in your life? Human beings will ultimately fail if they continue this behaviour because it is unattainable. You can take charge of things in your life but you can’t control your life. You can die attempting to control your life. Perfectionism is another one. Perfectionism is unattainable and sets you up for feelings of failure.

Time to soften the emotional armour. Are you living in a black and white world without any shades of gray? Do you insist on always being right? Are you closed-minded? Are you self-righteous with others? Do you feel hatred for those different from you? Are you afraid to explore the world? Are you living through fear rather than love? Do you feel superior to others?

Time to engage with the collective. Do you deny your existence as a spiritual being? Have you strayed or separated from the spiritual and emotional development goals you desired to achieve in this lifetime? Do you support individualism to the extreme, unable to experience unity? Do you lack a spiritual sense of connection to a higher collective energy? Do you fail to see yourself as part of a greater whole? Do you feel you are accountable to no one or nothing? Are you independent to a fault? Do you ignore or deny the mystery of life or anything that cannot be seen or proven empirically? Have you stepped all over others to get to the top? Do you treat those you consider beneath you in a poor manner? Are you racist? Are you xenophobic? Do you live through a narrow childhood perspective of life that needs to expand to take in the big picture?

Time to balance the inner masculine and feminine. Cancer can indicate that you have rejected either your inner masculine or inner feminine. Do you reject your mother, your father, or both? That gives you a quick assessment of where you stand with regard to rejecting self. Do you reject the 50% of self related to mother or the 50% of self related to father or do you reject all of self – 100%? It is tough to be well when you reject yourself entirely. Cancers of the reproductive or sexual organs are common and related to your wellbeing on this spectrum:

1) Men: Prostate cancer – Have you spent years consciously or unconsciously rejecting your father? Are you closer to your mother than your father? Are you becoming more like your father every day and does this feel like a bad thing? Do you feel connected to the long line of strong effective male ancestors behind you? Are the life journeys of your ancestors a problem for you? Is there gender bias against boys and men in your family system – they are the weaker sex and need a good women to care for them? Are you homophobic – rejecting the variations on the spectrum of sexuality and gender? These questions will get you started on a journey to address unresolved emotional trauma.

2) Women: Breast cancer, cervical cancer, ovarian cancer – Have you spent years consciously or unconsciously rejecting your mother? Are you close to your mother? Are you too close to your mother – her confidante or best friend? Are you closer to your father than your mother? Are you becoming more like your mother every day and does this feel like a bad thing? Do you feel connected to the long line of strong effective female ancestors behind you? Are the life journeys of your ancestors a problem for you? Is there gender bias against girls and women in your family system – it’s not safe to be a girl – a girl needs to find a good man to care for her? Are you homophobic – rejecting the variations on the spectrum of sexuality and gender? These questions will get you started on a journey to address unresolved emotional trauma.

The Unwelcome Visitor

I know that individuals tend to believe that a diagnosis of cancer is a shock – that it arrives unexpectedly. I also know that many people dislike unexpected visitors. Cancer does not tend to arrive unexpectedly. Cancer grows in the body over long periods of time. Cancer usual gives plenty of warning – attempting to communicate with you through many symptoms of unwellness. Too often, the symptoms are ignored and the inner voice attempting to help you is silenced. Cancer gives us all plenty of time to shift our way of being in the world if we choose to do so.

Cancer is the final wake up call. It is letting you know that you have hit the snooze button of life once too many times. It tells you that it is TIME. It may also tell you that you have taken too long to respond and there may be a consequence. We all carry cells in our body that can become cancerous. Why does it happen to some and not to others? I had a lovely young woman carrying the messages of cancer give me the answer one day. She said, “People with cancer are carrying a lot of stuff – sometimes it’s a lot of pain that belongs to others. I realize I worked hard to get cancer over a long period of time. I let people dump all their issues on me and I carried it for them.”

I encourage you to take the time to figure out what cancer or any other body symptom or condition is saying to you. Better yet, proactively shift the unresolved emotional trauma suppressed in your body out into the open to be expressed and processed before it creates unwellness.  It’s time to live life fully.  Much of what I have shared in this post was learned through systemic family constellations and body focused therapies.

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